The Forgotten Wish
by Ironhide's Daughter
Summary: Ironhide struggles with his past as his deepest wish, forgotten in the horrors he had seen, slams into him. Optimus attempts to protect his budding family as flashbacks take over his mind. Ratchet fights his past as he is dragged farther and farther away from the safe life he had made after the war. The war of weapons has ended, but the war of the spirit has merely begun.
1. Chapter 1

The sparkling huddled in the ally. She shivered and sweated; she had no idea of the world around her. She coughed, and some energon landed on her arm, freezing instantly.

"I'll see ya soon, Optimus." A big red Autobot shook his head as he turned into the alleyway to find a quiet place to talk with his old friend, "Optimus, stop worryin' the 'cons won't be back." There was a pause as the leader spoke to Ironhide, "I'm just fine, I ain't havin' any flashbacks, leastways not like you have 'em." The tough Autobot looked around instinctively.

That was the thing with war; it made one always ready to fight, always looking over one's shoulder.

Something caught his eye, a movement. _Newspapers don't shiver…_

He strode towards it, something was beneath it, Ironhide, ready to strike, lifted it. "Mercy! A little one! Where's your home, girl?"

Her eyes barley twitched. She was black and brown with many scars, and she had a look Ironhide was all too familiar with. "You don't have a home, do you?" he paused, finding himself reaching down to feel her forehead, "You're burnin' up! Let's git ya inta Ratchet."

The girl faded back into the world at his touch, " No… please…just-" she shuddered and groaned.

Ironhide looked at her; she had to have been experimented on. He picked her up, "It's all gonna be alright, don't you worry now." A human song bubbled into his mind, one that he had heard a human father sing to his little girl while he was on Earth, "_Hush little baby don't you say a word, daddy's gonna buy ya a mocking bird._" he stopped singing abruptly, "Who in their right mind would want a mocking bird?! It's bad enough when others mock ya, why would someone get a bird to do it as well?! Human are such odd creatures! Ah, well, let's see here… _rock abye ba-_ you ain't a baby, and that's a weird song as well. Who'd ever wish their kiddo to fall from a tree in a windstorm?! And I ain't singing 'bout ponies! Why must human songs be so odd?" The big red 'bot noticed the child's arm hanging at a rather awkward angle, so he pulled it over her waist. She was so fragile and little, it was as if she would fall apart in the wind. _What am I thinking? I couldn't keep Chromia and Sparky alive. And I certainly can't take her in, what if she doesn't like it at my house? What if... _

The girl moaned and nestled deeper into Ironhide's arms, trembling and sick. A wave of powerful emotion struck him like an EMP blast. He shielded her from the wind, she was already wrapped in his coat and the emergency blanket he had in his kit and there was nothing more for him to do; she wouldn't fit inside him if he transformed. He loved her like she was his own, and he would not deny it.

He had grown up on the streets, and had vowed to aid any whom had come into his path. Then the war had happened, and he had to hide who he truly was. In truth, Ironhide's toughness was as much a mask as Prime's was. He was a big softie at the spark, and he just loved everybody, save for 'cons, to pieces. He wanted to look tough only so he could defend his loved ones. And he was angered at the 'cons; he had watched them, powerless to do anything to stop them, torture a sparkling. No one got away with that, not with him alive. But he didn't have the skills to balance it that Prime did, that was because Prime was, well… Prime, the carrier of the Matrix of Leadership.

"Shh, it's alright, I am here, I won't let anything bad happen to you." Ironhide contacted Ratchet, "Doc, meet me at my house, please hurry!"

"Ok." The older medic knew if Ironhide was asking for a house call in that pained, panicked tone the weapon specialist had to be badly injured. Optimus followed him as they sped out.

Ironhide was laying the child down on his bed when Ratchet and Optimus dashed in, a look of sheer worry on their faces.

After all of his training, all the struggling, protesting injured 'bots, the medic was not prepared to see the tough Autobot known as Ironhide with tears of worry streaming down his face. In fact, it caught him so far off guard that he knew not what to do.

Optimus, however, went to the big red 'bot, hugged him, and dragged him far enough away for Ratchet to work on the sparkling. Even Optimus had a hard time calming Ironhide and holding him still; Ironhide had a stubborn mind of his own, a good thing, until it came to those he loved getting hurt.

Ratchet nodded then set to work assessing the child's ailments. "She has a high fever, presumably from a shock, like falling through ice or something akin to that. Keep her as comfortable as you can and give her this." The medic reached into his bag and produced a bottle with a liquid medicine inside. "Make some mint tea, soak a cloth in it and put it on her forehead, make her drink some as well. That ought to bring down the fever."

The tall red and blue 'bot known as Optimus Prime stood, releasing his old and dear, stubborn friend, whom ran to the sparkling's side.

"Ironhide, you will not like this, but I will show you how to administer medicine to an unconscious child." Ratchet, holding a very thin, long tube, beckoned to Ironhide.

"Where am I?" a small weak voice whispered causing Ratchet's spark to brighten, Ironhide to skip a little and Optimus to smile broadly.

"You are in my house." Ironhide, figuratively, transformed from the tough guy to the melted spark guy instantly, "Can you take some medicine for us?"

The youngster nodded shyly, nervous as to what they wanted of her.

"You are quite ill," Optimus read her face; "We want to help you."

The girl nodded again, not as shyly but still a bit nervous. Then she let Ratchet spoon her medicine.

"What is your name?" Ironhide finally asked the question he had been waiting to ask for a few hours.

"I don't remember, I was known as a number for my earliest years, then after the war I escaped and went by nothing. I know who you are, you are Ironhide. The deep voiced one addressed you as so.

"Well, the deep voice belongs to Optimus, and the other one's Ratchet." Ironhide paused, "perhaps I can figure you out one."

"If you want to." The little girl whispered as she closed her eyes and fell into a fitful sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Ironhide watched the sparkling toss and turn, Ratchet and Optimus had left many hours ago and the clock was well past midnight, but he could not bring himself to recharge. So he watched her.

"_Ahheee!" Chromia cried out. Sweat ran down in rivers all over her. Then there was a newborn's cry. Ironhide rushed forward as the door creaked open and a worried midwife poked her head out and beckoned him._

"_You can handle energon, right?" the midwife blocked his view._

"_I was a worrior, let me see my wife!" he was allowed to see the room, to see his wife. At the sight of her the room reeled. Her eyes were closed and there was energon everywhere, then she and the room faded away…_

Two clammy hands touched his arm. A silver faceplate hemmed in brown peered into his eyes, "Who's Chromia?"

"I-I don't want to talk about it. How do you feel?" Ironhide patted her arm, fear washing over him. _What if I can't be what she needs? What if I can't help her? What if I am cursed never to have a family? And what if she had a real family? I don't know how to aid a blind bot!_

"I feel alright. Thank you for helping me, should I leave now?" the child cocked her head, "How much do I owe you?"

"Do you have a family? Where would you stay?" the big red Autobot's mind cried out as if he was losing his family again. He had forgotten that, during the war, when Sparky was born and then went back to the Allspark, followed by his wife. He had forgotten what he had dreamed of his entire life; a family.

Now he knew that that was an impossible wish. He had grown up alone, and it was proven than he would remain alone. She probably had a family that was seeking her madly, and he would not make them go through that kind of loss.

"My family was killed in the Bad Place, so I stay wherever I can. Where's your family, Ironhide?" the girl asked in her innocent manner.

"My parents left me to die on the streets after they nearly beat me to death. And the lass I wed to died after givin' birth. So did our son."

"Was she Chromia?" the sparkling asked.

"Yes." Ironhide struggled to not cry; he was tough, warriors didn't cry.

But the child caught it anyway. "You loved her very much." She wrapped her arms around his neck. A shock shuddered through him, "You want a family. That's why you're so sad."

"How do you know that?" Ironhide fell off his chair in surprise.

"I can see sparks, and yours is sad and lonely. I didn't want to hurt you when I said I was leaving. I had no idea of how it would affect you, can I stay if you want me too, and I would like to stay. But you fear me as much as you love me, so I don't know."

"I-I" Ironhide's vocal apparatus shut down for a moment, "I would be honored. What do you want me to call you?"

"What do you want to call me?" she lifted her face torawrd where she detected Ironhide's stunned face.

Ironhide studied her face, noticing for the first time what Ratchet had seen when he had first looked at her; her eyes were a pale blue with a scar across them. "Well, what do you like?"

"There's a song I heard once, when-" the child's eyes widened and she froze, her mouth open, a tear rolled down her silver cheek.

"Chil'? Kiddo, Please!" Ironhide shakily opened his comm. link, "Ratchet!"

"Ironhide? What is it at this hour?"

"My kid, she's frozen! She was talking 'bout a song and then it happened!" Ironhide was more afraid then he was during the war. War was something that could be confronted, the mind, and the spark, was not.

"Open the door." Ratchet called. "I ain't trying to break through it again, last time I was in the hospital for three months!"

Ironhide dashed over to the door, the child stumbled after him.

"Ironhide? Why are you scared? Why is the other man at the door scared too?"

The gigantic red Autobot scooped the child up, "We were worried about you. You froze up, and I didn't know what to do."

"I'm sorry. It fell on me so quickly." The child shuddered.

"What fell?" Ratchet bent down to her level.

"The Bad Place, where they took away the light and hurt me all the time." The child's lip trembled slightly.

"I-" Ratchet didn't know what to say, so he hugged her, and Ironhide. Ironhide lifted her up so she was in front of him and hugged her in one of his more gentle bear hugs.

"How 'bout you go on back to bed?" Ironhide asked his new daughter.

"Ok." The brown and black sparkling toddled to her bed.

" There's another Autobot who has taken in a survivor, he may be able to help you." The medic spoke to his brother in a low voice.

"Who? And where?" Ironhide spoke in an equally low voice.

"This address." The medic replied. Then he frowned, receiving a call. "Ok. Elita, I will be right there." The medic looked back to Ironhide, "Optimus is having flashbacks."

Ironhide sighed, "I'll wake my chil' up and we'll be comin' over as well."

Optimus slowly opened his eyes and looked around as his vision faded back from sleep mode. Their room looked like the _Ark _after it had landed on an Earth volcanoe and sat for a few millon years. Only where stalactites and stalagmites would grow were gapeing holes. "Did I…?"

The red and white medic's, grey face hovered into his view, "Yes. Nobody's hurt though."

"There has to be a way to stop the flashbacks." Optimus sighed, he felt completely helpless. Even though Megatron was no more, he was still fighting the evil leader.

"There are tranquelizers, but I hesitate to try them on you." The medic replied.

They all knew why he hesitated; Optimus was their leader, and if the 'Cons came back and he was still knocked out… No one wanted to think of that situation.

"I best be getting to work." Ratchet broke the saddened, awkward silence that had formed.

"Yeah, we're going to proof Ironhide's house today." Optimus looked down to hide his red face as Ironhide and the sparkling walked into the door.

"Why are you sad, and scared, Opt- Opta" the child frowned, she did not quite know how to say his name, "Deep voice?"

"Don't worry, I am just fine." Optimus smiled at her, and then he stood and patted her head lightly.

"What's wrong with my house?" Ironhide clapped his brother's shoulder, nearly making the Prime fall flat on his face.

"It's filled with sharp things." Elita replied with a chuckle.

Ironhide smiled as he watched his sparkling hold her hand on Elita's round pink and white abdomen, giggling in delight. Then he sealed the last seam of the safe with all of his sharp things in it.

"What are your plans for today, Ironhide?" Optimus asked.

"I'm going to see a librarian who adopted another survivor." Ironhide had already told him about the morning's flashback incident. "You two?"

" Doctor's appointment for Elita and our oncoming little one." The Prime replied.

"Don't worry, everything will turn out." Ironhide stated as he searched the leader's worried eyes.

"I'm not worried about her birthing. I'm worried about, well, you saw my house. What if that happened and I hurt her, or the sparkling. Or worse… I want to be there for them, but I don't think I know how."

"Remember what happened when the Matrix got you?"

"Of course. One cannot forget when a strange object is shoved into your chest as you protest its coming. Especially if it talks to you and gives you another name." the Prime smiled wanly. He always made bad jokes when he was nervous.

"Well, you said just about the same thing, although, if I remember correctly you were tryin' to tear it out and give it to Alpha Trion. That worked perfectly."

"Yeah, I was in a coma for a week after Ratchet pieced my chest back together." Optimus chuckled softly.

"And you turned out to be the best leader Cybertron could ask for." Ironhide smiled, "After it got through you thick helm that there was nothing you could do about it. You'll make a great father."

"You sure?" Optimus still felt helpless, but he had hope, perhaps things could get better.

"As sure as the sky is upways." Ironhide clapped his friend's shoulder. "Now I best get goin', see ya 'round brother."

The red 'bot took a deep breath and knocked, holding his still unnamed child's hand. Then he opened the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Ironhide stepped into the dimly lit room, there was human music drifting through speakers, some guy singing about leaving on a jet plane and hating to go, but it was impossible to define where. The walls were covered in books, the only thing visible was a dark blue carpet and a off-white ceiling. A figure exploded from a pile of dusty books and paper that he seemed a part of; Ironhide then realized that the pile of books hid a desk. A little girl peered from behind a shelf, also looking like she was a part of the books.

"You must be Ironhide." The book-bot touched his forehead, smearing jet black ink across it, not that it mattered; he had ink-blots and smears everywhere on his deep purple and maroon armor. "Name's Wordsmith." He stuck out his inky hand, looked at it and lowered it, "I'll go wash my hands." With that he once more vanished into the paper and books.

The little girl crept closer as he returned, then her eyes widened, "A2880!"

"R3304!" Ironhide's child bolted to her long lost friend.

"They call me Riatu, the Old Cybertroian word for healer." the child smiled, returning the embrace, her voice was very quiet and raspy. "Did you get a new name yet?"

"I have a few in mind." The girl smiled, "You can talk again?"

"Yes, I have a few books that you'd like in mind." Riatu and the sparkling went arm and arm down the book-lined walkway.

Ironhide watched them happily. "That's the most exited I've seen her."

"I know, Ratchet told me yours scared you with a flashback. Do you want some tea?" Wordsmith asked gently.

"No thanks." Ironhide replied, he had never had tea, and he was uncertain he wanted to try it; all of the tea drinkers he knew were… interesting.

Wordsmith poured himself a glass, "So what brought her flashback?"

"I had asked her what she wanted me to call her, and she said something about a song she had heard once. Then she froze."

"Is that the first time that that ever happened since she got out?" The writer asked.

"I don't know. I only picked her up yesterday afternoon. She was sick an' on the streets so I took her with me and got Ratchet." Ironhide felt like he was in a physiatrist's office. "In truth I only know the most obvious things about her."

"Well, she will tell you eventually." Wordsmith frowned, "I realize that this is an odd question, but, have you noticed anything odd about her. Any strange acts around injured individuals, or anything."

"Like a special ability?" Ironhide scrutinized the writer.

Wordsmith waited, he knew exactly who Ironhide was. He was once a homeless sparkling, taken in by Ratchet's parents with an orphaned bot named Orion Pax. Ironhide was overprotective, and stubborn. He was once a great warrior, and if time forced him to, he would be again. He had enough arsenals in him to turn the entire city to dust. The big red bot trusted no one save for his brothers. But this sparkling was slowly changing him.

Finally Ironhide sighed, leaned forward and began to talk, "How did you know something was off?"

_Figures he'd ask that._ Wordsmith thought, _now what, should I tell him my secret? Well he trusts me, and I can't keep that hidden for long anyway. I'd slip about something he never told me._ "I was also there; I have no memory of the first seven centuries of my life. The only proof I have of it is the fact that I can see a person's thoughts."

A look of embarrassment and sorrow crossed Ironhide's face. "I'm so sorry."

"Friend, I can't remember anything. A medic told me that I begged him to delete everything that happened, and this, so I could start anew. I have the certificate right here." He looked at the scattered, yellowed paper, "Somewhere. Anyways, he got my memory, but he realized that if he completely wiped it out, you know, the thing, I would have been killed, so he left it. I guess I either got luck, or I was cursed by my decision's timing, the next day, deleting memories became illegal." He looked towards his daughter, "Riatu has the ability to make things whole, and to make things grow."

Ironhide awkwardly looked down, "She can see one's spark, an' know the emotions of that spark."

"Did it freak you out when she first communicated that?"

"When someone hugs ya an' tells you exactly how ya are feeling when ya ain't given' them any sign, tell me if ya ain't a bit surprised. I fell off of my chair when she told me." Ironhide finally felt comfortable, perhaps comfortable to try tea.

"I'll pour you a glass." Wordsmith smiled.

"Huh?" Ironhide was confused for a second. "Thanks."

A gentle song came across the radio, it seemed written by the same singer, but this sounded like a song taken straight from the Autobot City during the winter.

"_See the sunlight through the pine,_

_Taste the warm of winter wine,_

_Dream of softly falling snow, _

_Winter snow, Aspenglow."_

"Who is this singer?" Ironhide asked after a moment of listening to the music.

"John Denver, the song is Aspenglow."

Ironhide felt a tapping on his leg, "This is the song I was telling you about, someone sang it to me once to calm my spark."

"I think Aspenglow is a fine name for ya!" Ironhide lifted her onto his lap.

_Ratchet walked down the alley, it was dark, and clouds covered the moon. Out of nowhere something came down on his shoulder, hard. He cried out in pain, then he could not scream, and ther was pain in his throate. More and more hits came until his nervous system involuntarily shut down. He saw the landscape move…_

"Hey!" a nurse was shaking him awake, "You know sleeping here isn't a job requirement, it's a nice thought though."

"Uhh." Ratchet's face was flooded in a fiery shade as he looked up at the male nurse.

"You are welcome to stay, but, man, you had some horror story of a dream." The nurse added.

"Thanks for waking me, I-I think I will go back to my own home though." The medic shook his head to rid himself of the remaining fragments of the dream.

As he walked through the alley he turned his comm. link to Optimus on, ready for the worst. Shadows seemed to move closer, only to back into even more shadows.

"Just your thoughts Ratchet, just your thoughts." The medic jumped violently when Optimus's familiar and calming voice came over the link.

"Ratchet? What are you talking about? Why are you up at this hour? Do you want me to come to you? Did I scare you?"

"Yes, you scared the paint off of me! I just had an off dream, and I fell asleep at the hospital and I apparently was making all sorts of noise. I ain't staying there for the rest of the night." Ratchet replied looking around like he was paranoid.

"I'm coming, where are- you're in the next ally from my house. I have you on my scanner, so you might as well stay with us."

"Optimus!" Ratchet sighed, _I should have opened the link to Ironhide, no, he'd react the same way as Optimus, only with a lot more firepower._

Soon the big red and blue semi pulled up next to him and transformed. "Next time, just call me in the first place, two have a lesser probability of being mugged then one."

A shadow smiled as she walked away, "How true that is, Prime." Wanderer vanished into the shadows.


	4. Chapter 4

**I am so sorry for my tardiness; spring is a busy time for shepherdesses, farmers and band kids. As well as lassies who want a full ride scholarship to a good collage. As for the comment I received, thank you. This chapter is for you then, although, I would like to know your name/ penname, preferably the latter, so I can address you properly. Anyaways (yes, I spelled that wrong for a reason) to writing I get. FYI: this does get a bit disturbing; if you are disturbed easily skip over the italic section in the beginning of the chapter. It is Ratchet having a flashback.**

Ratchet walked down the dark ally, he'd been working late again. As he walked he would stumble, for his mind was not on the ground upon which he walked.

"_Optimus?" he looked at the leader, whom was nearly to tears, "What happened, what did you see?"_

_The leader shook his head, "I can't talk about it, I don't want anyone coming with me, but there's so many wounded and dying…"_

"_It can't be worse than the battles." Ratchet trailed alongside his brother._

"_Ratchet, I said-" but the Prime knew he could not stop the stubborn medic._

_They came over a battle-torn crest, before them lay a field covered in the white sheets that covered the dead, there were no birds, no music, no sounds save for screams and moans and mourning. A red and white femme, malnourished and bearing terrible wounds and scars, stumbled towards them. Her legs gave out as she approached; Ratchet gingerly caught her, trying not to bring her pain._

"_There are more inside the warehouse. Come." She said. Her voice did not tremor, nor did she show any anxiety, pain or joy, nor did she exhibit any sort of exhaustion. She simply said it, as a fact, a terrible fact that was not anything but there. She said it as if it was just a thing that was just there. _

_She led them, stumbling, tripping and refusing to take any help from anyone, to the death-painted warehouse. Ratchet followed her through the door, he looked around and the world went black._

"_What's his name?" a stranger's muddled vocal apparatus verbalized._

"_Ratchet, I told him not to come, but he's too stubborn." the familiar voice of a brother echoed in the blur._

_Ratchet moaned, the world slowly focused, he saw Optimus and the femme's heads right up close to his own._

"_Ratchet, honey, are you ok?" the femme pushed him down as he attempt to get up, "Uh-uh, you just stay sweetspark; you're in a bit of shock."_

"_Obey or I will shut you down, I'm not kidding this time." Optimus locked optics with his dear friend and his reflected his words._

"_You won't, I have work to do. I just got overwhelmed." The medic attempted to get up again, "Let me up!"_

"_Ratchet." Optimus raised an eyebrow._

"_Don't use your warning voice on me; forcing me to stay would go against your principles!" Ratchet leapt up and began to scan victims. "Who are you anyways?"_

"_Pris-" she fell suddenly. Ratchet could do nothing as she groaned and shuddered on the ground, she had been off energon for too long and suddenly had it almost forced down her throat by unknowing soldiers._

"_Help them!" she murmured, then her optics flashed, and she went limp._

He looked up at the moon, which was covered by clouds. His gut twinged, a_ moonless night_. Just a dream, just a dream. He did not know what had happened to _her_, she was probably dead.

Shadows moved around him, _I am not opening another comm. link_. He started to speed up.

Something hit his shoulder hard, knocking him down. A shadow grabbed his throat, his voice box. He could not scream as more and more hits came. His movement system was shut down, the ground moved underneath him…

"Stupid Doctor!" a red and white femme muttered as she leapt across the roofs of buildings, "Stupid doctor! Why can't you not be so stubborn!?"

Something flew towards them, hurtling form a rooftop. The shadow had a large stick and angry blue eyes, like blue flames that turned to ash all they struck. She struck both of the medic's captors as she landed. Then she continued to block and strike them, as if she had known this fight, as if she had rehearsed it. At last they ran, it was better to be alive than dead.

She turned to the red and white bot on the ground, energon was everywhere. "Primus! Let it not be too late!" she began to sob as she wrapped his injuries, not like there was any energon left to stop form leaking, it was more so she could feel like she had done _something_.

Optimus read the note on Ratchet's door with a happy smile. "Going on a vacation, don't know when I am coming back." He chuckled, "Well finally, Bother!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey! Sorry about the lateness... again. There is no internet at home. And I have noted that this website does not recognize the scene-switch do-dad that I had when it was a Word document, I reckon that confused a few folks, and I apologize and I will do my best to prevent it's happening in the future. Please review, and tell me what you want to hear, what you want to hear more of, and what you want to hear less of, I may decide to comply after Chapter 7.**

"Something is off, Elita, I can't tell what though." The Prime paced back and forth in front of his very pregnant wife. "Should I call him?"

"He's on vacation, sweetspark, just leave him alone." Elita attempted to draw his attention away from his worry; worry brought flashbacks, and those scared her. Not because she was in danger, she had been in far worse danger before, but because he was so scared when they happened, because it absolutely destroyed him inside, "The little one is moveing. Come feel."

The big red and blue bot lumbered to his wife's side and plopped down next to her, she grabbed his blue hand and held it to her stomach, where tiny clinks came from within, and rattled her white abdominal armor. The leader's face lit up in delight as the child kicked his hand. Then it did something odd, it moved under his hand differently, causing Elita to gasp.

"What was that? Did I hurt you? Are you okay? Is the child okay?" the rapid stream of words that flew from Optimus's vocal apparatus sounded almost as fast as Blur spoke, but deeper.

Elita laughed, "I think it did a summersault." Optimus joined in her laughter.

Ratchet woke up to straps and severe pain everywhere. _They're torturing me. For the pleasure of it, I can't talk._ It worsened. _Well I won't give them that pleasure! _He ground his teeth together, a natural reaction to pain.

"You _are _up, aren't you!? Why didn't you do something, tell me that you can feel what's going on? Huh? Open your mouth." A femme's voice scolded him.

He ground his moth closed as he felt a glass pressed against it. A pair of cool hands tried to force it open, but to no avail. Ratchet strained and struggled against her. Optimus would start to worry soon, if he hadn't already. Then he would be found, he just had to hang on! How long had he been out? His jaw twitched, about to give way to the femme's gentle strength. Then, she went away. Suddenly a needleless syringe was shoved in between his lips, squirting a warm, bitter liquid as a hand clamped over his mouth.

"Rest now, we will talk when you're done." The femme's voice soothed as the world slowly dimmed.

_No… I can't….sleep… what…? Who…..?_

"Stupid doctor." The red and white femme muttered as she watched him go to stasis. Then, after making certain he was out, she continued to fix him.

"Aspenglow!" Ironhide looked at the humanish girl that he had just nearly stepped on, "I Know ya ain't learned to control that yet, but be careful when ya turn human, ok?"

"Ok daddy." she smiled up at where she thought he was.

"Hello?" a gentle voice called, "Ironhide? Are you home?"

"Yes Optimus." Ironhide scooped up the transforming sparkling.

"Do you know where Ratchet went?" the Prime strolled into his brother's house.

"Do you?" Ironhide shrugged, "I'm worried too, he's my brother."

"What do you mean?" A brown and black sparkling asked.

"Well, when I was your age my parents put me out on the street after nearly beating me to death. Ratchet was about the same age as Optimus and I were. Well, he was walking with his parents two days later and he stumbled and fell down the hill I was at the bottom of. After a long legal battle for my custody, his parents took me in. A month later they got Optimus out of the same situation I was in."

"So that's why you both are afraid." The sparkling murmured to herself, "Ratchet's parents are good people."

"Yeah. They somehow made a family out of a rusty pile of broken nuts and bolts." Optimus sighed. "Well, I best head out." The leader stood up and walked out the door.

_What if Optimus disappeared too?_ Ironhide ran out after his friend.

Wordsmith smiled happily, Riatu was playing contentedly with a bunch of other sparklings. They had no idea of her secrete, if they did, few would stick around. All they knew was that she had suffered an injury to the voice box and that's why she spoke so quietly. And at that point in her life, that was a good thing. Even with his youngling around, he still felt… missing. Like he was lost, and had lost something very important to him.

Then a little one fell off of a fence. He just lay there on the hard ground, and Riatu made a beeline for him. He was Bumblebee's son, Goldbug, and had hurt his leg rather badly. Riatu put her hands on it and he screamed in terror as there was a blue flash and Raito was unconscious, and his leg was healed.

Wordsmith held his breath; the other sparklings had stopped playing and now stared at the two.

"She must be a witch!" one of them shouted, picking up a stone. Wordsmith looked at him, he was new. And no sparkling passed the writer without him knowing exactly who he or she was. Something was up.

"Yeah, and he must be one of them too!" another sparkling, Zippy, echoed, picking up a rock as Riatu came too.

Many of them picked up stones, with words like "Witches should be destroyed!" but there were a few that began to run right into the aerial minefield. Namely, Silver, who was Arcee and Wheeljack's daughter, SkyStreak, Silverbolt and the femme Override's daughter, and Kup's grandson John.

The three stood next to Riatu, and Goldbug supported her the best he could, he was rather short like his father. Wordsmith tried to get to them, but his path was blocked by frightened parents wanting him dead. At last he fought through them, grabbed the sparklings that had stood up for his daughter, and his daughter, and ran wildly through the streets. Wordsmith looked back to see his home up in flames and rocks pelted their heels.

He pounded on the doors of Bumblebee's, Wheeljack's and Kup's houses, and they also fled.

Finally they were safe in the more wild part of Cybertron, but not for long. There were Ex-cons out there who were itching for a fight, itching to torment something, and suspected witches were prime targets.

Silver was terribly shaken; she was a kind soul, a firm pacifist who thought that the world was a good place and had never seen violence anywhere. She hugged Riatu, partially for her own comfort and partially for her friend, whom actually seemed quite calm.

John looked up at his grandfather and pressed his body right into the old soldier's leg. The boy knew all about cruelty, he had been taken from his real parents because of it.

Riatu coughed a little, spitting up a bit of energon. Wordsmith looked her over, there was a dent right over the scar tissue on her throat, and he pulled her close to him. She would talk again for a while, maybe never. She pulled out a piece of paper with a memory card on it.

"You had a dream about this?" Wordsmith read her thoughts, and she nodded and snuggled up closer to him.

It was Goldbug who actually spoke, "Daddy, why are people so mean?"

Bumblebee scooped the gold and blue sparkling up, "I don't know."


	6. Chapter 6

Ratchet moaned and slowly opened his eyes. A red and white femme was staring at him, she was quite familiar and had many scars. "Ratchet, hon, I warned you the best I could, why didn't you listen?"

The medic tried to talk, she clamped a silvery hand over his face, "Shh, sweetpea, they still have your voice box, I don't want to fix that again."

There was something about her accent, and her nicknames, and the general manner she had. It was calm and composed and- She was the femme at the camps!

Ratchet's eyes widened, he tried to sit up and ask her all the questions he had gathered over the years, but it only resulted in a horrified expression on the femme and more of the bitter liquid down his throat.

"Shh, sweetpea, calm down or I will have to put you out again. Now," she got out a syringe, swabbed her own arm and got out some energon, then a lot of energon. Then she put it into a bottle and poured something into it from a brown bottle that turned the energon a deep purple color. "This will sting a bit." She put a new syringe on the purple mixture and advanced towards him.

_What is that? What does it do? Has she gone mad and only wants to experiment on me?_ Ratchet felt sick with fear as he sat up and half jumped, half fell out of the bed. He suddenly felt dizzy and couldn't recall anything except to not let the femme touch him and that he had never felt this sick before. Part of it was pain, but the most of it was a terrible weak feeling that made the world spin with everything seen as three separate images. With a worried frown the femme perused him, but approached slowly murmuring something that the medic could not define as he crawled towards a wall. But he never quite got there.

The femme was suddenly on top of him, one knee was on his chest, and the other on his upper arm. She held down his wrist and injected the mixture into the crook of his elbow. He shuddered as his body rejected it at first.

The world spun and Ratchet felt himself being carried back to the table and he felt about to purge and he did not know why.

"No!" he tried to say, but he could only make a painful hiss. The femme instantly put her hand over his mouth and strapped him down with sturdy straps that were tightened only enough to keep him on the bed.

"You probably want to know what I just did." She wiped away some left over energon from the syringe of his arm. "I gave you an energon-elderberry mixture. The bitter stuff, which you will have more of if you don't stop moving around, was valerian. Although human folk remedies, they work well on bots."

The world slowly stopped spinning as Ratchet stilled as she kept talking; her voice was soft and calming and made the effects of the bitter liquid overtake him. He did not hear her tell him that elderberry guarded his weakened immune system, or that valerian made him sleep if in a high enough concentration and in lower concentrations induced a state of calmness and almost ignorance. He did not hear her because he was asleep.

The femme smiled and gently laid a blanket over him, "Stupid doctor, why don't you care about yourself?"

"So, now what?" Arcee folded her arms over her blue chest. "We can't go back, everyone thinks we are witches. We can't stay, they'll torture us."

Wheeljack pulled her close, "Anybody hurts you and I will make sure they pay for it."

"If anything's left of them, I might pay my own vengeance." The blue and grey femme rocked her head into her spark mate's chest.

"I love you, CeeCee."

"I love you J-J"

Silver darted into Wheeljack's free arm, "I love you mommy, I love you daddy!"

"I love you Silver!" The sparkmates chuckled at the same time.

Kup picked up John, "Now, ya see that, son? That's how bondeds are spo'sed to work."

"Why aren't you bonded Opa?" John looked up at his grandsire.

"My sparkmates died many years ago, just after your carrier left home to fight." Kup's fragile smile disappeared, "I just haven't found anyone that enjoys my company."

"I enjoy your company Opa!" John threw his arms around Kup's neck, "And I think there's a lot of people that do too!"

A low, happy rumble escaped Kup's lips.

Wordsmith smiled, the situation was terrible, but here were some good bots, they just had to make it to Prime. Silverbolt and his family had fled to find refuge among the Aerial Bots, so that was three less bots to cram into whatever shelter they may find.

"Optimus!" Elita one shook him awake before another flashback could take over his systems.

But it was too late; Elita barely had time to step out of the way as he began to shoot at the air. Now what? It would be very rude to call Ratchet. Ironhide might be able to help, but that would put him and Aspenglow at risk.

The baby began to kick. She thought of earlier that night, when she had stopped a flashback by making him feel the little one's moving under her armor. It was now only a matter of getting him still enough to get there without being shot.

Ironhide walked into the door, carrying Aspenglow. The latter of which jumped down and ran to the gigantic red and blue mech, she gently tapped his leg.

"Spike get out of here!" the Prime yelled.

Aspenglow tapped him again, then her eyes filled with a brilliant blue light, when it faded Prime was looking around as if he had no idea of where he was. Ironhide helped Elita up, and she ran to Optimus and threw her arms around him and squeezed him tightly as he began to cry.

"Ironhide? Aspenglow?"The Prime looked bewilderedly at them, "How did you know to come?"

"We didn't," the red bot replied, "we're here for a different reason."

"Oh?" the Prime, relieved and eager for a change of subject asked.

"We went over to Wordsmith's place, an' when we got there, the place was smoldering and half the town was comin' after him, Riatu, Bumblebee, Goldbug, Silver, Arcee, Wheeljack, Kup, John, Femme Override, Silverbolt and' SkyStreak. They were callin' 'em witches and gonna torture 'em to death! But they'd gone inta the Wilds." The weapons master said quickly.

"To come here." Optimus murmured, _they should be here in a human day cycle. Ironhide will have to greet them._ "I will ensure their safe arrival."

"Let me come." Elita started after him.

Prime spun around and gave her a kiss, "No, it's too risky for the wee one. I love you."

"I love you too, OP." she whispered.

With that he left. He would see them to safety, but then…

He knew only one thing; he could never return home.


	7. Chapter 7

**So, this is the last update before my life is taken over by band (not that that's a bad thing). Band camp starts tomorrow and Fair starts the day after it ends, but it matches right in with the rest of my summer; busy, busy, busy! But after Fair, theoretically, I have all the time in the world, save for band practice. In other words, these updates will become kinda sparse, so please bear with me. And thank you all for the reviews!**

It had been several days since Optimus had left, the travelers were all as safe and sound as they could be. Wordsmith and Riatu were staying with Ironhide, and the others had found homes among friends.

But Elita waited, the baby moved, reminding her of Optimus, each kick filled her with a growing ache in her spark._ Can I handle a little one on my own? what if he never comes back? Did I do this? Did I drive him away? What if I can't take childbirth, who will tell my husband? Where is he? What if he gets hurt? What if he is hurt? What about the flashbacks? What if he has one? Who will help him?_

There was a gentle knock at the door, "Elita?" Ironhide's worried voice came through the comm..

"Come in." the pink and white Autobot murmured. She looked up at the red bot with a human in a black and brown dress sitting on his shoulder, "Any news? On either of them?"

"Nothin'." He looked down, "I came ta ask ya the same."

Elita One looked at the bot, she saw a terrified sparkling that had just escaped and was all covered in energon. The sparkling that a moment later screamed as he was dragged back into the house and she was dragged away by her parents, her fearful parents. They had treated him like he was the plague itself, and ignored his situation. That scared little one was still within him, and she, just like Optimus, could see it. Abuse is no temporary event, even when the hurting is over, the pain remains, and the scars make things difficult, but one could always fight through them.

But now Ironhide looked more like that sparkling than she had seen him for a long time. _Wordsmith can help him, I couldn't help my own sparkmate!_ "Maybe Wordsmith has heard something."

"Okay." Ironhide numbly wandered off.

"Are you ready to be calm yet?" the red and white femme's voice brought Ratchet from slumber.

Ratchet sat straight up, which made the world spin and made the Femme sigh and take out a needleless syringe.

"Please no!" Ratchet attempted to say.

"Don't talk!" the red and white femme looked very close to slapping him across the face.

Ratchet put up his hands, _why can't I talk?_ Then he brought his hands to his throat, there was nothing missing, no gaping holes or sparks flying out, so what was the problem?

"Nod if you will be absolutely calm, and listen to me." The femme was holding him down and looking at him worriedly.

After a long moment Ratchet nodded.

"Good medic." The femme finally let him go, "You probably want to know what is going on." She waited for a response.

Ratchet nodded again, _what am I, a pet? A sparkling?_

"You were attacked going to your house, a happening that I tried to warn you of, but you would not listen."

Ratchet frowned at her, his eyes filled with questions.

"If I may hear your thoughts?" she asked.

Ratchet began to shake his head, then, changing his mind, he nodded.

She slowly and gently moved towards him, and then she put her hand over his hand and brought it to his spark, "Thoughts are from the spark, logistics are from the processor." She explained softly, then she closed her eyes and Ratchet felt his spark tingling.

He twitched out of nervousness.

_Don't be afraid, follow me._ Her voice was more felt than heard and rang through his spark. _Close your eyes, come to where you hear my voice, there we both can talk._

Ratchet closed his eyes.

_Everything was grey, Ratchet felt lost, and alone, and so afraid._

"_Ratchet. Easy Ratchet. Come this way."_

_His sparkrate was up, it felt like it was in his throat. The tingling grew fiercer, it was nearly a burning sensation now, especially in the area of his vocal cords._

_**Out! Out! Let me out! Get me away from here!**__ Ratchet snapped his eyes open._

"Ratchet."

The medic trembled and locked eyes with the glowing blue orbs across him.

"You have to be calm, you have to trust me completely. Do you want to try it again?" she had taken his hand away from his chest and was merely holding it in both of hers.

Ratchet closed his eyes again, trying to calm down.

"_Ratchet." The femme's voice was to his left. "Come here, Ratchet."_

_Ratchet walked briskly through the grey hallway to his left. _

"_This way Ratchet. You will feel a burning in your throat because of the absence of your vocal apparatus."_

_Ratchet had been feeling a burning in his throat for a while, but he held on, and followed the voice._

_Suddenly the burning was over, he was standing in a room with all of his good memories playing on the walls, at least all of the good ones that did not make him sad._

"_Fear made it hurt so," the red and white femme said. "You are in your Spark."_

"_How- how did you do this?" the medic was still absolutely amazed._

"_You can do it too. Although I was one of his experiments, he gave, if you can call it that, me the power to invade dreams and see the future of bots." She replied simply, with no emotions attached._

"_What is happening to Cybertron? Everything was peaceful!" Ratchet whispered._

_This earned a cynical laugh from the femme, "Things have been far from peaceful, medic. Peace was just an illusion created by words on a page. You cannot tell me that your spark had been peaceful? Or any other veteran's? And there are bots that escaped that he had turned against Optimus completely, and bots that have turned against everybody, especially medics. I probably should not have told you this; it puts you in more danger, but you should know." She sighed, "They wanted to hurt you the way they had been hurt, make you feel like a freak, because no doctor could fix them. Ratchet, they want just a medic, it was not targeted at you, just your job. They have your voice box, and when I know you will be okay without constant watching, I will get it."_

"_No, if they want a medic, then let it be me." The medic's face turned grim, and all of his bad memories rose up on the walls._

"_Stop!" the femme gripped his arm firmly, "I know you want it all to end, but it can't, not yet, you have not accomplished your mission. You have to fight this!"_

"_I was a doctor; I fixed bots the best I could. Now there are other doctors, my mission is complete!" he snapped as the memories turned to his deepest kept wish, he gasped._

"_Ratchet, please!" she trembled, not in fear, but as her strength faltered to show him what would happen if he destroyed himself. If any battle was the hardest to win it was this; the battle of the spark._

_She was not bringing in any new information, it was the truth that he knew, deep inside of him, one he did not allow himself to realize._

_Optimus flashed onto the wall, cradling Elita, and tears were on both of their faces. Slowly but surely he was forced to face the truth, if he died, everyone would be negatively affected, just like if anyone else died._

_Ratchet fell on his knees, holding his head, shielding the femme from the fact that he was crying, she knew anyways._

_Venting hard, she knelt beside him, "Ratchet."_

"_How was I so blind?"_

"_We all have a time when we are blind, but it takes blindness to get us to see. When we can't see ahead of us we have two choices, one choice is to end everything, but even in that we are forced to see the beauty in life."_

"_What's the other?" Ratchet felt his chin lifted and looked into the femme's cyan eyes._

"_To fight it, to see the loveliness, and the pain of all things, and fight it. As a human song states; 'Keep holding on and you'll see the sun'. And when you fight through it, suddenly the whole world takes on a new coat of paint, and you can see just about everything. The sadness returns sometimes, but it only repaints the universe in brilliant colors. When you plod on, you can help others plod on too, you can make them see the truth of the nature of their pain."_

_The medic made a fist, "Then I will fight it, no matter how hard it gets."_

"_You promise?"_

"_I promise."_


End file.
